Hiya Peeps,
Been mulling over the romantic dynamic of monogamy a concept that most city couples aspire too, but rarely achieve. I know that I have always imagined myself in a marriage where he and I were ride or die for each other. Never, ever, in this picture did I imagine my black knight riding somebody else. Adulthood has taught me that marriage is more than friendship, it is also a business where two people join assets for the benefit of themselves and their children, if they choose to have them. However, what to do when the foundations of your joined entrepreneurship is compromised by extramarital sex?
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| Remember when Tennis star Boris Becker famously denied his affair with a waitress? |
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| DNA will not be denied Boris |
Most peoples lives do not end like a romantic comedy yet we let Hollywood's standards of love dictate how we should manage our relationships. If Mrs X, has sex, with a colleague simply because, she is tired of being beaten with the same ole stick. But she is a great mother, excellent lover, keeps her body tight and is her husbands greatest source of support, why should he feel betrayed or pressured into leaving her? On the flipside why would she throw it all away for a stiff one?
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| Remeber when Nina went back to her old BF for some stick? |
Polygamy is the lifestyle that most of us subscribe to whether it is acknowledged or not. Lets face it if you been with your Man for 6 years and he has a 5 year old son then I guess it is, what it is. Or if you have only had sex with your Mrs and you have Herpes, well it is what it is.
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| Mo'nique has openly admitted to having an open marriage |
We are living in times where as a society we no longer place the value on our sexuality that we did historically and call ourselves hooking up with, and screwing around with people we have absolutely no business being with. (Can I get a hand clap for the sexual revolution) However, we have failed accept en masse that monogamy is not working for most of us. Lets simply stop pretending and try some-thing new. Hol' up now, and wait jus' a minute....before you dismiss me completely wouldn't life be simpler if every body just knew where they stood? Please comment
Coco great post!
ReplyDeleteI would add the whole religion thing. Of curse religion and mainly faith are important parts of our lives, however, Christianity in my opinion has gone to far in the way it brainwashes us with its heavy morality. Within its framework women are socialized to suffer for men, and these to pretend they can be something they can't: monogamic robots.
We should be able to put these morals and values in perspective and realize that are so many different ways to be happy. As u said up there, fidelity is only a part (I would say a small part) of the whole relationship business. And it is not accountable for happiness at all. In fact, we could end up very unhappy if we worry so much about fidelity that forget to live our lives and be happy with ourselves and with our partners. In my opinion this issue is one of those paradoxes of life we will never be able to fully understand: the more we pursue something we really want, the less we are likely to achieve it. On the other hand if we forget about these things and live life with an open and courageous heart, we could see how the puzzle completes itself piece by piece, slowly. In this sense, wouldn't the shortest cut to a satisfactory relationship in the long term(probably involving fidelity), a beginning of relationship founded in sincerity and confidence (probably involving flexibility, support and understanding towards outside relationships)???
Just one last thing: Let's not take fidelity for loyalty. The second is much more important than the first and one doesn't necessarily imply the other.
El gallo